My oa toolkit oat is an exciting new tool for members of overeaters anonymous. Core character defects 4 study from the bottom of page 63 to the end of page 65 and. Big book awakening 4th step workshop resentment examples and worksheets 122006 columns 14 to download the most current versions of these worksheets go to. This echoes language in the big book cautioning us that resentment is the biggest offender. Jun 01, 2010 the person i am angry at may not be intending to hurt me. Aa recognizes that resentment is toxic to our inner lives. It is the basic text of the fellowship of alcoholics anonymous, and has helped large numbers of alcoholic men and women, young and old, recover as of december 2009, 30,664,881 copies of the big book have been sold or otherwise. We have so little control over what happens, the only control we have are how we react to what happens to us. Resentments seem huge and powerful when theyre in your head, note the authors of a program for you, a hazelden study guide to the big book of alcoholics anonymous.
It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. Aa history what does the bigbook say about resentment. Prayer from how it works page 66 of the big book, alcoholics anonymous. A big book history wikipedia big book original manuscript. The big book of alcoholics anonymous says resentment is the number one offender p. It is my hope that you will find this site useful to you and our friends of bill w. At the time of writing the big book, women were viewed as less than rather than equal to or, in many cases, superior to. Resentment, of course, is any kind of lingering anger the residue of old hurts, disagreements, and frustrations. Sorting and rendering passages in the proprietary format of the 164 and more concordance does not in any way imply affiliation with or endorsement by either.
The whytehouse is, i hope, a way to find that special phrase or saying etc. In order to build a successful life in recovery the individual needs to let go of. These instructions are for the below prayer big book, freedom from bondage, p. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have also been spiritually ill. Alcoholics anonymous, page 64 aside from confusion, the second obstacle some of us have encountered at step four has been in the shortsighted belief we had no resentments. The big book s approach to step 4, with its masculine focus is not only less helpful to women than it should be, it is probably harmful. Sorting and rendering passages in the proprietary format of the 164 and more concordance does not in any way imply affiliation with or endorsement by either alcoholics anonymous. I was desperate to get past anything i had, so i said the prayer from that story over and over again, each day, until i found that i actually h. But once theyre down on paper they no longer seem so huge or powerful. Home read the big book and twelve steps and twelve traditions alcoholics anonymous alcoholics anonymous this is the fourth edition of the big book. Apr 02, 2012 big books detailed fourth step inventory. Find all uses of this word in the big book alcoholics anonymous and the twelve steps and twelve traditions of a.
This guide exemplifies, as close as possible, one of the strongest original ways of alcoholics anonymous. After all this, it cant be denied that the big book paints a really definite picture of the result of holding resentments. I have a spiritual malady that this grave in nature. In the book alcoholics anonymous, it suggests that resentment is the number one. Approach resentment as the addictive state of mind it is.
I have provided a link in a couple of places on this page for your convenience, so you can get to the search page. With that introduction to what resentment is, what is the underlying cause, and why we hold onto them, here are the 10 steps to letting go of resentment. Alcoholic selftest using the big book of aa step 12. Forgiveness is the art of releasing resentment hazelden. Resentment, after all, is only an attack of hostility that you happen to be having right now. Step by step explanation of the 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous via sharing. The big books way to be rid of resentment pages 63 67 instructions. I mentioned on my recent radio show the healing power of prayer that i would post the big book s resentment prayer.
I have highlighted, underlined, starred and tabbed this part of the big book. One purpose of this essay is to make the point that all resentment, and therefore all hostility, is unnecessary. Resentment inventory prompt sheet here is a list of people, institutions and principles that may be helpful in your resentment inventory. As you can see, this project is under construction and will be modified until completed so check back from time to time. Jun 08, 2010 the resentment prayer is located at the end of a personal story in the back of the big book. Step four of aas twelvestep program of recovery is infamously the scary one. We, of alcoholics anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. If you have a drinking problem, we hope that you may pause in reading. Twelve steps to live without resentment hazelden betty ford. That should be selfevident, but unfortunately it is not. It is common knowledge in twelve step fellowships like alcoholics anonymous that resentment and anger are dangerous for people who suffer from addiction and alcoholism.
They were seeking a way rid themselves of it when they chanced upon a magazine article. People father step mother step sisters step brothers step aunts uncles cousins clergy police lawyers judges doctors employers employees coworkers in. Aug 24, 2014 on page 552 of the big book of alcoholics anonymous their basic text, there is a very helpful suggestion on how to rid yourself of resentments towards a person. Resentment in big book alcoholics anonymous, 12 steps and 12. The antidote to fear is faith, the remedy for anger is love, and the solution to resentment is acceptance.
There have been numerous reprints and revisions, in addition to translations into dozens of languages. Articles according to the classic book alcoholics anonymous, resentment and alcoholism go hand in hand. Copyright alcoholics anonymous world services, inc. Very early, therefore, i came to value everything in terms of victory or defeat all or nothing. To read a pdf version of the fourth edition of alcoholics anonymous. And does the act of forgiving support a sober lifestyle. Resentments, inventory, amends and forgiveness 12stepphilosophy. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book. With the help of a sponsor who with the big book took me thru this solution and i learned to live with all my resentments. The big book explains that we must make a list that includes all our resentments we have and have ever had, an account of sexual conduct and our fears.
In alcoholics anonymous we learn that resentment is a condition or state of mind whereby one relives some past event, and feels the emotion from that event as if it were happening right now. With resentment, we repeatedly replay a feeling, and the events leading up to that feeling, that angers us with resentment, we reexperience and relive events in ways that affect us mentally, emotionally, physiologically. Bill wilson, aas cofounder primarily responsible for the aa canon of beliefs about alcoholism and recovery, doesnt mince words regarding the negative impact of resentment and raging anger for alcoholics. Steps by the big book step 4 resentments steps by the. The solution for resentment is to pray for forgiveness, to ask god to dissolved the past hurt and to give you freedom from it.
Clearly, there is no historical references that we can find to anything called turnarounds from the founders or pioneers of aa. The ez big book of alcoholics anonymous was written by a longtime aa member who has been a professional writer all her life. Resentment and anger, ofttimes apoplectic rage, have dogged me throughout. Biographies of the authors of the stories in the big book. Learning the process of overcoming resentment literally saves the lives of people who are afflicted with the disease of alcoholism. Step four prayer freedom from resentment step 4 of the. You should know that you are embarking on a long and probably painful journey, but the destination is completely worth it. I pretty much stick with what i call the big 2 resentment and fear out of the big book. See origins of aa s 4th step moral inventory it is not mentioned in the big book text at any point. In case you didnt know, keeping secrets is threatening to our recovery, and.
When i really began to grasp how much of a hold resentment had previously had on me and still can. Letting go of resentment and anger can be hard work. There is no obligation by any member of the original way group to use this guide. Myspiritualtoolkit 12 step aa app for alcoholics apps. Just like, not all people that eat too much fat in their diets have heart disease or have an eating disorcer not all people who drink too much, or get in trouble while drinking are alcoholic. Prayers from the big book of alcoholics anonymous big. Praying for them, as mentions in the aa big book, will change our experience. He was among the first few to get sober in new york, probably the second after hank parkhurst. Only about oneinten drinkers, even hard drinkers become alcoholic. A person mired in resentment has scant chances of recovering from addiction. And remember that many forms of addiction left unchecked are fatal. When the word optional is used in the worksheets, it means that the big book suggests doing this but does not suggest writing.
The big book describes this step as a personal housecleaning. Tripod decided to block me a few years ago, so i stopped writing, posting. The freedom from self is made impossible by holding on to fears and secrets weve harbored all our lives, the way of strength, paradoxically, is in becoming vulnerable. Keeping fear, anger and resentment far from you will help you stay away from using your drug of choice. The short biographies of the various authors of the stories in the back of the book alcoholics anonymous have been graciously supplied by nancy o. If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. I was convinced that holding onto a resentment might cause me to. Fear, anger and resentment the addiction counselor. Is it possible that the more we have them, the more we are moving toward our next drink, since we have used alcohol before to help us deal with them. He smiled, holding up two fingers, two openheart surgeries. Thats why you can find a collection of letting go of resentment worksheets here.
Within 3 years, the ebook sold over 15,000 copies worldwide without any marketing. To the outer world he presents his stage character. The step 4 inventory starts by looking at resentment, which the big book describes as the number one offender when it comes to blockage in recovery 64. Critique of chapter 5 of the big book step 4 aa agnostica.
Read read of step 4 resentments in the big book the final 4 paragraphs, pp. Resentment is really a choice weve decided, on some level, or allowed ourselves to stay angry. Breaking down step four of aa alcoholics anonymous jason. Dealing with resentment and alcoholism anaheim lighthouse. In fact, on paper a lot of resentments look downright stupid. I started a web site in 1999 when i came back into the rooms of alcoholics anonymous.
But when an undertaking occasionally did fail, i was filled with a resentment and depression that could be cured only by the next triumph. Such negativity makes like in recovery uncomfortable, and it can also be used as an excuse to return to alcohol or drugs. According to the writer of that big book chapter, they had held a deep resentment towards someone. I choose to stay neurotic when i hold onto resentments. The page 552 prayer to end resentments sober catholic. Mar 14, 2017 as bill wilson writes in the aa big book, resentment is the number one offender. A resentment is always about what someone or something has done to us. Sometimes, a guideline we can follow along to work through our feelings can make this process a little easier. Oct 25, 2015 bill wilson, aas cofounder primarily responsible for the aa canon of beliefs about alcoholism and recovery, doesnt mince words regarding the negative impact of resentment and raging anger for alcoholics.
Anger and resentment that are allowed to smolder can create such turmoil within an alcoholic that he is driven back to alcohol to soothe his emotional unrest. Anger in big book alcoholics anonymous, 12 steps and 12. List specific other defects to show your participation in the resentments. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves reading. Resentment in big book alcoholics anonymous, 12 steps and. We become trapped in a selfobsessed cycle of being afraid of the future, angry in the present, and filled with resentment over our past. All you need is a big book and this guide to go through the steps with someone in a way similar to what dr bob, clarence s or bill wilson would have done.
I tried every thing to quit drinking and i got drunk. For them, we hope these pages will prove so convincing that no further authentication will be necessary. Jul 22, 2017 in our literature there are many references to alcoholics being like actors, like this from into action in the big book more than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. First, i was shocked at the anger and resentment i was holding. Aa the original way 12 step guide aa the original way group. The book is published by alcoholics anonymous world services.
Those who are dealing with dry drunk syndrome will usually be experiencing a lot of resentment. The big book study movement is outside of the structure of alcoholics anonymous in ireland. The story is titled freedom from bondage i have the 3rd edition of the aa big book. I found it almost impossible, even in my minds eye, to wish him anything good. Authentic forgiveness takes time as the hurt party works hard to let go of resentment and the need for retribution, said lerner. H ere are some tips to help you with this moral inventory. According to the classic book alcoholics anonymous, resentment and alcoholism go hand in hand. The big book of alcoholics anonymous says resentment destroys more alcoholics than anything else because deep resentment leads to futility and unhappiness and shuts us off from the sunlight of the spirit. John henry fitzhugh mayo, commonly called fitz was the big book our southern friend. According to the big book, resentments are the number one offender for alcoholics going back to drinking. The big books way to be rid of resentment pages 63 67.
The second edition 1955 consisted of 1,150,000 copies. The resentment prayer is located at the end of a personal story in the back of the big book. Aa recovery resentment prayer step 4 releasing the anger one. Aa speakers forgiveness, letting go, resentment, fear, and love part 4 of 5. The 164 and more book, ebook, and web site are all concordances which display passages from the big book alcoholics anonymous, the twelve steps and twelve traditions, and the a. Home read the big book and twelve steps and twelve traditions. In fact, the original members of aa who wrote the book alcoholics anonymous believed resentment was the number one offender, and that it destroys more alcoholics than anything else. Resentment is literally to feel sentire again re, and it is the fuel that feeds the fires of our addictions. Mar 16, 20 in dealing with resentments, we set them on paper. Page 67 of the book, alcoholics anonymous, states, resentment is the number one offender.
That the book says resentment destroys alcoholics more than anything else has always stood out for me. I know it sounds dramatic, but these are often big, deepseated issues. The big book was originally published in 1939 by aa founders bill w. Reading from left to right we now see the resentment column 1, the cause column 2, the part of self that had been affected column 3, and the exact nature of the defect within us that allowed the resentment to surface and block us off from gods will columns 4. What worked for me was using the formula from freedom from bondage in the back of the big book. The book goes on to tell us how to handle resentments. Downloadable group workbook companion to the 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous aa, for adults who desire information on alcoholism and addiction recovery.
In this article a preacher wrote that if one holds a resentment towards someone or something like a place, maybe, you pray for them every day for two weeks. Step four prayer freedom from resentment step 4 of the 12. Home read the big book and twelve steps and twelve traditions alcoholics anonymous alcoholics anonymous this is the fourth edition of the big book, the basic text for alcoholics anonymous. First published in 2010 as a paperback, the ez big book of alcoholics anonymous was released as an ebook shortly afterward.